Eric... oh Eric...

Have you ever met a person where they are so stinkin' smart, they have no social skills? Meet Eric. 5' 7", 160 lbs, extremely smart but he doesn't think before he talks... I work at the Haselwood YMCA, as a life guard (Eric as well). We have these cool waterproof vacuums that clean up sand, dirt, rocks, vomit, Code Brown (fecal matter). Sami, my co-worker, and I were about to put the vacuum in the pool, and Eric whips out the crazy statistics like, "It's a 1 out of 1 THOUSANDTH probability that the vacuum shorts out... I'll warn the swimmers..." So he proceeds to tell the swimmers, who were elderly, that if they climb out of the pool, not to touch the poles or else they will ground themselves and get electrocuted. Sami and I were furious, the horror on the old peoples faces were terrible. I said to Eric, "Dude, you didn't have to say that!"
"Well, I was just warning them just in case." he replied.
Five people leave the pool, "Eric, look what you did."
"I was just saying!" he quickly replied.
Eric is the type of person that if something could go wrong, it will. Also if you tell Eric what to do or pass on a message telling him what to do, he automatically argues.
"Hey, Lauren said to be sure to roam, so you look like your guarding."
"Oh I was, I was just taking a break."
"For 15 minutes?!"
Every rotation around the pool is 15 minutes, so we don't fall asleep or become lethargic. Eric, did you mother ever teach you the word "OK"?
Love,
      Lucas Davis